Just wondering if someone has an opinion...

ok, so ive mentioned in other threads that im only 13 going on 14, but i reacon ppl my age grow up heaps fast. anyway, my point is, or more back to what my point was supposed to be, is i was wondering what you think of this:

theres this guy at my school, of whom i dearly hope doesnt access this website, who i really like. word got around, and it seems like everyone knows. ive liked him for about a year, and he found out about 4 weeks ago or something. now, he sorta ignores me and doesnt talk to me much if not at all. i really like him and would really just like a friendship, but i cant seem to get the courage to even talk to him. sometimes i feel like im not good enough. hes really nice and sweet and from my point of view, cute :rolleyes: (which is just a bonus i reckon), and is a christian like myself, he plays soccer (which makes him popular) and does good in school. he has this whole group of girls who are supposed to be my friends that like him, but it doesnt get to his head even when they all flirt with him. sometimes i feel out of my depth. im the so-not-athletic girl who loves soccer but really isnt that good at it, not good looking, more of a nerd, gets A's and has braces and glasses and all that. he's not the sort of guy that is bothered by all this a lot. he doesnt let it get to his head and all that. i dont know...he has this great smile, and he smiles at me all the time even if i dont talk to him, and it makes me feel...special. sometimes i catch him looking over at me, and i sort wish i knew what he was thinking. i mean, he might hate me all together and be thinking 'why did SHE of ALL people have to like ME', i probably wouldnt want to know that, but i really wish...i dont know. i wish things could be like they were before he knew, where we talked and teased each other and laughed about it.

everyones made such a big deal out of it, its gotten embarassing and i feel uncomfortable. they say 'just talk to him', but its easier said than done. where do i go from here? :confused: do i just be patient, pray about it, and hang in there or what? HELP!!! :eek: well, ok, its not that bad...hehe... :D
with love,
phsycho person in need of serious help (just kidding),
bec

As a guy, I can tell you my experience, hopefully it will equate to good advice for a girl.

I've got to say I've got girls way out of my league so often it shocks me, like the really super hot girls and I'm not a hot guy, I'm average in that department.

The way I did it when I was your age was through the attrition of statistics. I knew there were a percentage of girls out of 100 that I was attracted to, I knew of the ones I was attracted to there were a percentage that would be attracted to me also. So I was fearless in approaching those I was interested in... some of them would be keen on me too.

My friends described me as the guy who always got the girls. But I wasn't the hot guy, I was the one with the balls / guts to put myself out there, and anticipate rejection and not care about it.

'Hesitations kills' was what I always said to myself. If I was attracted to a girl I let them know.

My whole life experience has been throwing caution to the wind and wanting to find out sooner rather than later with a girl if she was interested too. If she wasn't I thought it better to know sooner than waste my time being infatuated with them or something.

Funny thing, now as an older guy I was infatuated with a Hollywood star, someone I never thought I would ever meet or even talk with. I ended up through sheer weird twist of the universe stuff having contact with her and becoming her friend and loosing the infatuation stuff because we became friends.

In my more mature years, what I've discovered is that is my personal qualities really that have been the driving force of attraction for women and looks have nothing to do with it. Sure there is a baseline you are either attracted to someone or you aren't, but even if you are attracted to someone they may bore you completely as a person.

I for one am more attracted to strong, confident women.

So my advice to you is to become the strong confident woman and make contact with him as a friend. Expect that only. Then once you have got to know something about him you will decide if he is boyfriend material, friend material or someone to move on from.

I also know it's nice, and ok, to have a crush on someone and not do anything about it. Sometimes that time is better than getting a quick answer / rejection.

I've also learned that becoming friends with a crush, 5 or so years later, when you have both been in other relationships... sometimes the crush and you are ready for each other and that's who you end up with.

Does this help?

Hey beccy d

well i am definately no professional on relationships :D

now you say that you actually used to talk and laugh with this guy - why did that have to change when he found out you had a "crush" on him :confused:

I know it is hard but you need to talk to him when you are both alone and sort this out - it doesnt have to advance to anymore than friendship - and i think that is the best basis for a relationship to start.

tell him how you are feeling and you just want to be mates - well i know not the greatest advice but hope it helps you a little bit.

Good luck :D

forget about him and concentrate on your books, your too young to be worrying about things like that

beccy d

my opinion is stay single its easier and you get no grief and then you cant get hurt or hurt your partner.

Hey Beccy,
Well you have got some confusing advice here huh?:D I throw in my two cents worth as well.:)
Look As for the guy being out of your league or what ever you can't think like that. You have to think well everyone is equal and he is no different to me so why couldn't we be friends or even more. Like Dominic mentioned confidence is a huge thing when approaching someone you are attracted to I reckon. Myself I'm incredibly shy and very hesitant to approach girls who attract my attention. I have always admired guys like Dom who have the balls to go for it and approach the super hot girl and see how it goes.
In saying that the I'm not the type of guy who really goes for the super hot girl. I believe there has to be an attraction there, a spark if you like, but my best relationships with girls have been based on there being a connection between our personalties. Similar interests, thoughts on issues those sort of things. You also need to have differences or things would be boring.:D
Look without sounding like a cliche affairs of the heart are very complex and difficult. I reckon you should try talking to the guy and just see what happens. Maybe it will work maybe you will just be friends maybe it won't work out at all but give it a go, you don't want to regret not giving at least a friendship a chance. Good luck and let us know what develps.

thanks for your comments guys, and your help! the last few weeks have been hard, with assignments and finding out my best friends like the same guy and all this insane garbage! apart from that, everythings been really good. u no wat? ive figured that even if he doesnt like me, im ok with that. at the moment, we're not quite back on speaking terms, but he smiles at me all the time and gets me in on jokes and i think thats worth a million words. i appreciate the comments and all your different views. keep posting, and ill keep posting my little pieces in every now and again. its nice to hear other comments other than the usual 'ur a beautiful girl, so he should like you' from mum and the friends going 'just hit n him and see wat happens'. yeah right...as if i'd do that! well, talk to you all soon, gotta go start my english assignment thats due tomorrow!

No worries beccy:) Good luck with the assignments.

Because I'm English beccy I can help you on both accounts here:

'just hit n him and see wat happens'.

Hit him with your ' daring and confidence ' ... You said that he smiles at you ...:) ... so there must be something, perhaps he's a bit shy .. ?

You also said that you're both Christians .. Well ask him along to a Bible group or something similar .. a film with a religious theme at the cinema maybe. You might find out that you have much more in common.
If you must cheat a little .. :rolleyes: .. ask him to explain a particular Bible statement that you (supposably) do not understand .. How can he refuse ?

As for your English assignment .. Well I guess you have to work some things out for yourself ...:D .. ?

Good luck ...

i dont know if anyone cares, but i seem to get on here more often than i write in a diary, so this is the update. we've been talking more, and smiling at each other. but some other stuff has gotten weird. i think i already mentioned he plays soccer (or football, watever you want to call it) and so he USED to spend a lot of time on the oval. the other day, i got to school and saw him on the oval on the way in. once i got my bag out of the car, i looked over and 'the guy that currently remains nameless' started walking off the oval. apart from that, my brother, who's in grade six, plays soccer with the other people from my grade, yr. 9, and he overheard them having a chat. not just a chat, but a whole big conversation ABOUT ME!!! it was so strange. it involved about 10 people who go to the oval, including the guy i like. i later talked to one of my friends, who is also good friends with him and goes to the oval, about what my brother overheard. she said that it was true, they had had a conversation about me, but when she arrived they all changed the topic. i hope this is making sense to you...but don't worry, if you don't, you're in the same boat as me! anyway, thats the update. its starting to annoy me. i hate not knowing things. i especially hate not knowing stuff that no one else knows, or is willing to tell me, anyway! i just wish i knew what they were saying, it would make me feel more comfortable. i feel like they might be bad-mouthing me behind my back and that none of them like me, as friends, at all. keep me in your prayers and keep posting! even if you dont really care, ill keep you posted!

Ahh Beccy, school yard talk is so much like chinese whispers.:D The more people it goes through the more in accurate it is likely to be. I know right now this is hard but you need to try and ignore any possible gossip about you and just approach the Mr nameless and talk to him. If you don't like not knowing things have a chat to him it's the only way you are going to find out what is going on. Well good luck with it and try not to stress over what everyone else thinks, says and does.

you're so right! lol...its so crazy! a few people have mentioned all the whispering and they all have different stories! hehe...it's funny though, because a while back we found out that Mr. Nameless actually lives around the corner from us, and he said he'd come up and play soccer with my little brother sometime, so it's really funny. my friends all got together and have been having 'private conversations' lately, after i broke down in a year 9 meeting last week (don't ask), and apparently they all know i'm going through a hard time and they've planned some secret surprise thing. i asked one of my friends what it was and she goes 'a surprise' and i go 'i know that and its not so encouraging!'. she thought it was funny then said 'yeah, well, it's a good surprise', and when i ask the other girls, they say the same thign and that i'll 'find out sometime in the near future'! i hate not knowing stuff...it was hard enough before, with everyone else keeping secrets from me, now my own friends are! i wish they'd hurry up and tell me what this surprise is...i'll have to tell you all when i find out! lol, ok, i have to go finish my drama assignment! have a good week! i'm praying for you all, because i'm sure some of you are having a much worse time than i am! luv you's all!

Beccy, the nature of a surprise is that you are not supposed to know about it LOL. But I agree with you I hate being kept in suspense, I don't like dealing with if's, buts, and maybes, I prefer to deal with reality. If only life was that simple:rolleyes:

i havnt updated for a bit, but im afraid its not great news. i really shouldnt hav gotten as attached as i hav. the other day, at our athletics carnival, i got told that he likes someone else...and even though it really shouldnt bother me, its completely ripped me to pieces inside. i know i need to put it in gods hands...but it just feels so hard wen it feels like hes broken my heart without even knowing! i like him so much, yet i feel so angry with him...and i know i shouldnt! i feel so silly feeling this way....but it makes me want to just go and hide in a corner for the rest of my life. now i really need help. plz help me, i dont know wat else to do. i feel so heart broken, i know i shouldnt, but i just cant get over it. i like him too much. wat do i do, before i kill myself out of confusion.

i may be a christian, but the same doubts and worries still cloud my head sometimes...and the temptations. the temptation to run away rite now is overwhelming, but i know it wont help. i cant run away from my problems. please help me

One of my friends once told me they admired me because I put my heart out there 100% in every love relationship I had and no matter how any relationship ended I just kept charging back in there and being open to love again.

The reason I gave way it's worth it is because of the good times. Loving someone and being loved is a freedom - it frees you to be yourself entirely because that person loves and accepts you as is, even when they know your faults. They share your victories and they are there when things don't go right for you. But they love you not for how life turns out but because they want to be with you even when the worst thing ever happens in your life because they love you and care for you and want to be by your side no matter what. Real love is equitable. Both of you care for each other and make sacrifices to support and celebrate each other - when things go bad and when things go good in each other's lives.

That's what it will be like for you when you are in a relationship with the right person for you.

The person you have a crush on is not the right person for you at this point in time. He hasn't earned the opportunity with you to be in love. He is just a guy you fancy.

If you think it's complicated during a crush that doesn't work out, reality is it's a lot tougher when it's a great relationship that eventually doesn't work out. Such is the price of love.

The three things I think I can tell you, but you will only really understand through your own experience are:
(1) you need to be accurate and truthful with yourself and honest in your assessment of a love situation / be realistic.
(2) Every time I got my heart broken by the perfect girl for me (at the time) and had the courage to go on I found even more wonderful and better relationships.
(3) I learnt tons from every relationship I was in, it helped me to be a better man in subsequent relationships. I figure when the right person for me comes along, I'll be able to draw on my prior experiences and be prepared to be the person they love.

What I'm talking about though are relationships, not crushes that don't work out. Believe me when I tell you once you get to relationships (not just crushes) the bad part is it gets heaps more complicated (and sometimes hurts heaps more), but the good part is it gets so much one billion percent worth it.

I hope this helps you look forward to better things in the future. It is one of those stupid situations where I can say everything will be ok and you will love someone else one thousand times more and be loved that way by them in the future because I know it, it's stupid because I know that will happen for you, but you have to walk that road yourself to discover it. No one can really tell you that it will be that way and then you just instantly accept that. You need to forge on and discover that yourself. I will say - it's totally fucking worth keeping on going. It's totally fucking worth banging your head against the brick wall of love. Man alive it's so worth staying in the fight.

I guess I'm just asking you to keep banging your head against the wall of love, like me on the basis of the fact that I've been banging my head longer and it's been entirely worth it for me to keep banging away.

hi beccy i know you are hurt, and it is frustrating, but i look back on my crushes when i was your age and think what a great time it was, these crushes did not work out because noone really fancied me at school, but when i look back i think of how excited i felt at the prospect of seeing them on a monday morn, or if they spoke to me i would be on a high for the rest of the day, you wont see it yet, but when you find love you will look back, and although it hurt not to have them, you will smile because they were a part of your life, and when you look at your love you will realize that crush and love are two different things, but i will tell you this, never let someone control you, or mistreat you just because you love them, if they dont let you be yourself then they dont love you the way they should, life is full of comprimising and balance, be yourself, get a good job and be independant, find yourself, and learn to love you before letting anyone into your life, because you deserve only the best in life as we all do, ope things work out well for you, the choices you make today will shape who you are in the future Amanda

Beccy, the reason you hurt so much is because you care so much. People will see that in you and want to be around you. In time you will meet new people new guys and you will remember this time and smile, it may not seem that way now but trust me it will happen. Like Dominic I tend to throw myself head first into relationships. I live by the life is too short addage. It's definately to short to let a chance at love pass you by. I haven't been in a serious relationship for a while now but can't wait till the next one no matter how bad I have been hurt by past ones. Unfortuuately things don't always work out for numerous reasons.It can be a matter of timing, distance or many other things, you just have to move on think about good times in the past and try and find that again. Recently I have developed friendships with a couple of women who maybe just maybe there could be a whole lot more with but due to circumstances that is not possible right now. But I never give up hope and who knows what will be, will be in time things may work out.

I guess I am just reinforcing Dom's comments keep putting yourself out there be prepared to love and to be loved. You may get hurt but there will be good times that make it all worth it.:)

i really love reading all your advice, it definately helps me through. well, ur rite about the being prepared to love and be loved thing, becoz i sort of feel like that at the moment. altho he doesnt like me and i was all panicked after i found out, i found out lately that he's practically over likeing that someone now anyway. ok, its not fantastic, but its a little bit of light in a dark place! it gave me some hope! i have msn, and i hav this pic that says 'im 99% sure he doesnt like me, but its the 1% that keeps me hanging on'. that is so true for me. i was talking to him the other nite, which was, like, a first! we talked on msn for about an hour, and discussed all sorts of stuff. u no, i was really depressed before, but now i realie i dont hav to be, becoz no matter wat, ther'll always be a chance, and this is a learning curb. im learning the lessons now from my mistakes so i wont make them in the future! well, in case u cant tell, im a bit more possitive now! well, keep posting and ill keep u updated. thanks heaps. this forums like a journal to me now!

Hey beccy ...

When real love comes your way you will be ready and experienced enough to be able to recognise it, and handle it ... you can't hurry love though .. :)

In the meantime ... keep us posted.

Best wishes,

well, since we're on school holidays now, i dont see him at school, but i started a conversation with him on MSN and he completely ignored me. i dont know what to think. I say, "hey", and he was online, and about 10 minutes later, he goes offline. he's not the sort of guy that would do that, so im not sure wat to think. he would normally just say, 'im sorry, cant talk rite now, i hav to go' or something like that. my friends were all trying to encourage me by saying (this is copied out of the conversation), after our chat the other nite:

"he realised that ur actually really nice and funny, and then he felt guilty coz he liked someone else and he never thought he would fall for u, so he was confused and didnt no wat 2 do, and then when u started talking 2 him he got freaked out coz his heart started beating fast and his hands got sweaty and he couldnt breathe and then he realised that he really did like u so he panicked and threw his computer out the window coz he was scared that hed say something dumb and stuff everything up and thats y he hasnt been on msn since, but when he sees u next he will be so nervous coz he nos how he feels about u that he will run straight up 2 u and tell u how he feels and ull live happily ever after."

lol...my friends are really funny. that was my best friend. shes like that all the time: trying to encourage me and make me feel better. it had me laughing, that's for sure. let me know what you think...because im not really sure if i should be insulted or whether im just being silly or what! ah...im, as the girls say, head over heels in like. i care way too much...lol...

ok Beccy - i am a female and older than u but i have no idea what to think - he is a male - so basically in a nutshell i am thinking unless u find the courage from somewhere within urself and just flat out ask him - then u will know for sure and one way or another and wont be doing ur head in wondering with all the what "ifs" .....

now i do know this is easier said than done - but hey just think worst case scenario would be that is is not attracted to you - i know u will be shattered but there are others out there who will value u - ummm dont put all ur eggs in one basket so to speak.

oh well good luck be young and enjoy

It is said that hidden love is worse than open rejection.

Konstantin

thankyou for those messages. they are much appreciated.

yesterday was a very interesting day. as ive said, we're on holidays. and im not sure if ive mentioned htis before, but he actually lives right around the corner from us. i had a party yesterday (for no real reason) to catch up with my friends and stuff, and we decided to go outside. so we go out on the front yard and one of the girls goes, "hey, wheres he live?" and, as not to lose his trust, i didnt really want to TELL her, so i said, "around the corner somewhere." so she grabs my arm and drags me up the street! then, wen i wasnt doing wat she wanted, she started yelling his name out! it was so embarassing. but wen i saw there were no cars out the front, i was thinking "thats a releif! imagine if he could see or hear that..." and so eventually, i escaped and ran back to my house and she came back too.

then we all decided to go to some parkland just down the road, so we grabbed the footy and soccer ball and headed down the street. we were there for a bit, and then all of a sudden some of the girls dissappeared up the street on the other side...and im sure you can guess whose street that is. two of my friends (including the one that dragged me up the street before) ran up the street and knocked on the door. to their surprise, his little brother answered, and five minutes later, the guy i liked turned up. i wasnt there, but i was told this when they came back screaming "[the guy you like] is coming to play soccer with us!!!" and he did! we played soccer for a while...and it was fun. especially since it was 9 girls, him and his brother, it was really funny. and my goal keeping skills, according to him, could be worked on. lol...he told me that later on msn.

well, that brings me to the next section of a VERY interesting day. when we all got back, we all got on my computera nd went on msn and i put all the girls names in my name. he was online, so we started talking to him...big mistake. they all started teasing eachother saying such-and-such like this guy [who was the grossest guy in the grade] and stuff like that. then once everyone else left, the girl who'd earlier dragged me up the street and stuff, start teasing me on the convo. she was saying stuff, pretending to be me, like, "ooooooooh youre so dreamy!" and "come up to my place and watch the movie 'step up' and practice your dance moves with me". you can imagine how embarassed i was. so i started appologising, and thats wen she put "you know, you need to stop appologising. men (or in your case a boy) dont like being appologised to, and this is wen u just dump them." i mean, she was making it sound like i was going out with him, then she made it sound like i WANTED to (which i dont, i really just want to be friends...i think...im pretty sure...). but how embarassing is that?

eventually he came back and read it all (so i was told by another friend who got on msn wen she got home). he read ALL of it...and man, wen i looked back at it...i had no idea wat he would think of me. but what happened next made me feel great.

well, i did one huge appology message, and then eventually he replied. he said (direct quote), "i really dont mind. i really dont care they were all joking around (hopefully) LOL {he always puts lol in capitals wen he thinks somethings really really funny...i think its cute} and i was too so itz kewl and dont worry about it." i thought that was sweet...he doesnt normally talk like that...that was really genuine. and man, was i glad! but the best was yet to come...
well, so i thought...because we talked for more than 2 hours after that, and it was great. we both had heaps of fun joking around like old friends. wen i told him i had to leave coz i was exausted, and he said "cya later"...ok, thats not a big deal, but after i went offline from talkin to him, i microwaved my dinner, and while it was doing that, i came back and signed in to see if he was still on, and he had left when i said goodbye....i thought that was nice...that means he was only on there coz he was talking to me! lol...

ok, i may be looking to far into this, but it gives you hope, yer? and we're actually building a relationship and learning more about eachother...i like it. hehe...ok, im gonna go....hehe...

havnt written on here. nothing really new. im pretty sure i told you he likes some one else...i did, didnt i? oh well, he does, and shes perfect. well, no, shes not, she talks about me and my friends behind my back and isnt really nice, but she APPEARS perfect. and that kinda gets your confidence down. but i still like him just as much as i ever have. ive liked him for more than a year. bit weird. but he is a really lovely guy. actually, i had just been saying to one of his friends, who is also one of my friends that i tell everything to, that i had been getting really depressed, because even though i know i shouldnt care that he likes someone else and all that, but in your heart, you just like him so much its hard to get a grip on. hope i make sense. i could write a novel, but im really busy right now, so ill have to get back to you later. but anyway, there are some good things. he smiles at me all the time now. which is really nice...because he has the most gorgeous smile...hehe!

anyway, we were laughing at something in class today, and he caught my eye, and it was so weird, coz we both kept smiling and were looking at each other for ages. like a conversation with our eyes: it seemed to say so much, yet i had no idea what it was! hehe....wow, i must sound head over heels on love or just plain crazy by now. id say a bit of both. but i dont like to call it love, i call it 'head over heels in like'. lol...let me know what you're thinking. catch you all later,

god bless!

my friends think he has a soft spot for me...from wat i written previously, what do u think? let me know! desperately needing advice/encouragement/others thoughts right now.
better go, eating chocolate and getting it on the keyboard. lol, check ya later.
god bless,
bec

must be brief, as i have much work to do on assignments. just thought id mention that we did dancing for core p.e. today. we danced with everyone in our class, so that meant i got to dance with the guy i like. hehe...it was awesome. ok, now im just being lame. but we are actually talking now, and he treats me like a friend, which means the world to me. and most of all he smiles at me. and at the most random times. but he has the most gorgeous smile. one of those ones that makes you go weak at the knees. he needs to stop it, really, because hes gonna end up giving me arthritis or something in the legs. hehe...ah well, i love it. im allowed to, aren't i? even if he likes someone else?

once again, must be brief. went to youth group on friday night. i was upstairs baking muffins with my friends and he was downstairs playing sports. i had put my handbag downstairs in a little room. you can go straight down these stairs from right near the kitchen, into that room. the room is also next to the basketball court, which is where they were all playing sport. i got really sick of some of the girls, coz they were being really stupid and up themselves, so i decided i needed a break. i felt like crying. so i decided id go downstairs to my handbag, and be all emotional by myself. halfway down the stairs, i thought 'wouldnt it be funny if someone was down here....just when i was going to be by myself, and then i wouldnt be able to...' so yeah, wen i got downstairs, guess who was there? all by himself, kicking the ball around, ALL BY HIMSELF (lol) was the guy i like. as soon as i stepped into the room, he turned toward me, and while he had had a bit of a frown on his face, his frown turned into the most gorgeous smile ive ever seen. then he was like 'hi bec'...and yeah, well, then we talked for a couple of minutes, and it was awesome. but its just that, well, he had some friends there on friday night, and the chick he likes was there, too...and he LOVES sport. he even said so himself during science that afternoon when he was flirting with us girls. lol. but then he stayed down there for the rest of the night, according to my friend who also likes him and decided to go down and talk to him, too. (btw, i didnt know he was down there, duh). but when she talked to him, she had to talk to HIM and practically force the words out of him, and was really quiet. he spoke to ME...and smiled at ME...and that was just awesome. and then when i couldnt hear what he said at one point, coz everyone in the basket ball court was making so much noise, he leaned in closer and laughed at me and smiled, and then kindly repeated it. it was gorgeous.

i should tell you this other story. i thought this was specifically funny. me and another friend, sarah, went downstairs for a minute, coz we were both a bit tired and annoyed, and she was telling me all this stuff like 'oh, he'll like you one day, u just wait'. and so we went downstairs, and no one was there, not even anyone on the basket ball courts. so me and sarah went out there, and were talking and shooting hoops and stuff, and then i saw a basket ball that was pumped up properly, so i went over to get it. when i got closer, i saw there was a jacket beside it, which looked just like the one the guy i liked had been wearing when he first got to youth, but he didnt have it on while i was talking to him. so we kept shooting hoops and stuff, then we decided we should go back upstairs. halfway up the steps, when she had just said to me, 'he should so like u' and stuff, and i said to her something like 'no, he likes a girl thats really nice and beautiful and stuff...cant say i blame him!' and then she said to me, 'no way, he'll like u one day, because you are so beautiful, no matter what you think'. and then we heard someone downstairs kick a can (remember, no one else was down there, so while we went back into the room with our handbags in it, someone must have come down) id seen the can earlier. but then me and my friend were like 'gee, i hope no one heard what we were just saying' and i was like 'yeah, i dont need that to get around too'. and so, we went upstairs, looked at the muffins we had baked real quick, then i turned around, and through a doorway, i could see the guy i like sitting there, once again by himself, looking through the doorway (appearing to be looking my direction) and wearing HIS JACKET! ah! this was only about a couple of minutes after we'd been downstairs. i dont know exactly what to think, but its weird, isnt it?!

Don't knwo if anyone has evre told you this but you are a pretty amazing person.....

One of my friends once told me they admired me because I put my heart out there 100% in every love relationship I had and no matter how any relationship ended I just kept charging back in there and being open to love again.

The reason I gave way it's worth it is because of the good times. Loving someone and being loved is a freedom - it frees you to be yourself entirely because that person loves and accepts you as is, even when they know your faults. They share your victories and they are there when things don't go right for you. But they love you not for how life turns out but because they want to be with you even when the worst thing ever happens in your life because they love you and care for you and want to be by your side no matter what. Real love is equitable. Both of you care for each other and make sacrifices to support and celebrate each other - when things go bad and when things go good in each other's lives.

That's what it will be like for you when you are in a relationship with the right person for you.

The person you have a crush on is not the right person for you at this point in time. He hasn't earned the opportunity with you to be in love. He is just a guy you fancy.

If you think it's complicated during a crush that doesn't work out, reality is it's a lot tougher when it's a great relationship that eventually doesn't work out. Such is the price of love.

The three things I think I can tell you, but you will only really understand through your own experience are:
(1) you need to be accurate and truthful with yourself and honest in your assessment of a love situation / be realistic.
(2) Every time I got my heart broken by the perfect girl for me (at the time) and had the courage to go on I found even more wonderful and better relationships.
(3) I learnt tons from every relationship I was in, it helped me to be a better man in subsequent relationships. I figure when the right person for me comes along, I'll be able to draw on my prior experiences and be prepared to be the person they love.

What I'm talking about though are relationships, not crushes that don't work out. Believe me when I tell you once you get to relationships (not just crushes) the bad part is it gets heaps more complicated (and sometimes hurts heaps more), but the good part is it gets so much one billion percent worth it.

I hope this helps you look forward to better things in the future. It is one of those stupid situations where I can say everything will be ok and you will love someone else one thousand times more and be loved that way by them in the future because I know it, it's stupid because I know that will happen for you, but you have to walk that road yourself to discover it. No one can really tell you that it will be that way and then you just instantly accept that. You need to forge on and discover that yourself. I will say - it's totally fucking worth keeping on going. It's totally fucking worth banging your head against the brick wall of love. Man alive it's so worth staying in the fight.

I guess I'm just asking you to keep banging your head against the wall of love, like me on the basis of the fact that I've been banging my head longer and it's been entirely worth it for me to keep banging away.

beautifully broken, if you're talking about dominic, i have to agree. things just keep getting tougher, and i dont see how other people do it.

hi there,
im sure you're getting on with this situation in your own way by now, which is probably the best way to go about it, but thought i'd contribute my two cents to the great advice you've already been offered. I've been on both sides of this situation myself. When i was around your age, i had crushes, that in reality would never have progressed further than that, but i've also had a few absolutely awesome guys who i could've had the opportunity to get to know better, but at the time, failed to recognise how great they were. Don't forget that maybe while you're focused on this one guy, you might be forgetting about all the other guys who think you're really great. I think most people at around 14 start to think if they don't get into a relationship, they might be alone forever! everyone's different, but getting into a serious relationship when i was young was a major mistake for me, a good learning experience, but a major mistake. I found out the hard way that you don't really know someone that well until you live with them! but as someone mentioned keep banging your head against the wall..i sure am! hope everything works out well for you!

thanks EarlyMorningMoments, thats a great comment, and i understand u completely...the 'continuing on' of this thread is called 'dillema' (i think!) and you can find it in the same section as this one. ive written the latest news in there, so if u want to check it out, go in there, and leave comments if you could!
thanks again guys,
beccy d.