Being GAY, right or wrong???

Through a recent failed Gay relationship, I have come out to several close friends and my Mother, I am releaved that I have done this but sometimes feel that I am making the wrong lifestyle choice.... it is as if society is frowning upon me because of my sexual orientation......
Do you think people are born gay or is this a lifestyle choice???

T-rouble

Hey T-rouble welcome to the forums.

I'm not gay but know heaps of gay people both male and female. 2 of my best friends are gay men. Personally I think you're born with it from talking about it with different people thats what I think. Whats your opinion?

Hi Bess, I think to some extent, it is a personal choice. I dont see how I can choose to be Gay when I am 1 or 2 years old, or even make that kind of choice as a new born. I have dated girls but deep down knew I was attracted to the same sex.
Its crazy being gay, you get looked down at, people are rude and diss you...you are constanly judged, but I guess its something each and every gay indivudal has to deal with in there own way...
Personally, I feel that being Gay isnt my WORLD, its a small part of me, and it doesn't change who I am as a person..... I dont want to be known as 'that Gay', if you know what I mean...
T-rouble

I totally agree with you, it doesn't change you as a person I personally don't think it makes you any different from anyone else. Unfortunatley there is a stigma about "gay people" I disagree with that in a big way. I was brought up in a house hold where being gay didn't make you different or special it was a part of you were, my great uncle was one of many that were jailed in the 60's for 3 months "being gay" He left Aus and swore he would never come back and he didn't.

Hey T.rouble,

welcome to the forums.

I teach my children that regardless of sexuality, race etc etc WE ALL BLEED RED BLOOD.

Is it a choice????? umm personally no i dont think it is because no person would choose to live as in a "minority" group.

I dont judge people on their sexuality or anything i judge the person for who they are inside - as i am sure people dont judge me on my sexuality - hope not anyway :D

You just have to accept yourself first of all and then everything else will fall into place and remember those around you do love you and care about you lots - you always find out who your real friends are in times like these.

Question could you be straight if you wanted to?????? I am thinking not - i have lots of gay friends and hey they are fantastic people.

So be gay and be proud of who you are ok

I don't know about being gay as a lifestyle choice or being born gay, what I do know is it is another social group that has a stigma attached to it. People are unfortunately very judgemental. Society judges gay people, homeless people, disadvantaged people.:mad: It sux, you just need to do what is right for you and try to be happy. Try not to worry about what "other people" think. Those that know you will love you regardless just be your self.

Its great that so many support us gays....just rememeber that my sexuallity is only a small part of who I am....I shouldnt be judged on that tiny part....
Cheers to you all, T-rouble

exactly T.rouble - i have a lot of gay friends and quite often go to gay clubs - well actually more often than not - and in my experience they are so welcoming, friendly and non judgemental. In this time i have made some fantastic friends - one who i am very close to. They are not superficial or shallow and i like that in a person.

True being gay is not who you are.

mite see u at the madi gras

and in my experience they are so welcoming, friendly and non judgemental. In this time i have made some fantastic friends - one who i am very close to. They are not superficial or shallow

But isn't this a stereotype just like
"All gays are just waiting for a chance to go the hoppoatte."
The problem with sterotypes is not wether they are flattering or not but that they are untrue.

An example of this is the Doctor stereotype. People trust Doctors because of the stereotype, but it can also be abused.


mite see u at the madi gras


Sydney is strange town as strange as strange can be.
Your Mardi Gras is Gay,
But your fe-rries Manly.
:D

Konstantin

Konstantin,

I am not sure what your point is - i didnt understand your post?????????

I am saying that a group gets demonised. (Doesn't have to be gays could be any group under the sun)

Then there is a counter-reaction where people put them on pedastools.

I am also saying that both are poor approaches because both do not reflect reality.

Konstantin

It's personal choice (My Opinion)... and I have absolutely no problems with gays. ;) And I think it's stupid how in some countries it's actually 'illegal' to have a gay relationship... Stupid buggered up laws that are around this world I tell ya.

But yeah I agree with 'Bess'... Being gay doesn't make 'You' any different from anyone else.

Hello Smokin Ace,

i respect your opinion on being gay is a personal choice - but i have many gay friends and frequent gay night clubs - no i am not bi or gay i am a straight female.

The reason i dont believe its a personal choice is that first of all they are a minority group, you are constantly judged - and i see this all the time, there are still many homophobics in our society so you are not always accepted - you cant get married, you cant have children etc etc and the list goes on.

Living a gay life can be extremely difficult and i have seen this first hand many a time.

Why would anyone choose to live the life of a minority group and be judged and insulted and at times ridiculed??????????

Hello Smokin Ace,

i respect your opinion on being gay is a personal choice - but i have many gay friends and frequent gay night clubs - no i am not bi or gay i am a straight female.

The reason i dont believe its a personal choice is that first of all they are a minority group, you are constantly judged - and i see this all the time, there are still many homophobics in our society so you are not always accepted - you cant get married, you cant have children etc etc and the list goes on.

Living a gay life can be extremely difficult and i have seen this first hand many a time.

Why would anyone choose to live the life of a minority group and be judged and insulted and at times ridiculed??????????Well some people have a view In life where they don't care about others opinions and all, while others have very self conscience views and are afraid to admit they aren't straight. I dunno, I guess It's just one of those subjects when everyone is going to have some sort of answer, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer... I think it depends on that person in general.

I am gay and knew early in life that I was different. The actual sexual life you chose can be straight or gay. Because of family pressure I was married and miserable. I am older and have never believed that your sexuality was any bodies business but yours and your partners. I do not think the parades help because you can not change what people think. In some cases like rape the trama can result in chosing same sex partners. This happens more often in women but can also happen in men. The are just more comfortable with same sex. If you want to express your sexuality openly then you need to be in a community where that is possible. I was satisfied appearing straight and having personal friends and going to gay bars on the week end. I now live in Red Neck territory in the US. My neighbors don't have a clue I am gay but I have also not had any problems finding other men that are gay or bi. I don't think we have a lot of choice about our sexuality. Just develop friends gay and straight that accept who you are. Your sexuality is just a small part of us - well hopefully not too small. LOL

purpleprincess, I don't think that the fact that homesexuals are a minority group means that being homesexual is from birth and not a personal choice. MANY people choose to be in minority groups of some sort. Thinking about it, this very forum makes up a minority group-- one of people willing to talk about homelessness and service and ethics. It was your conscious choice to do so, whether or not people who have differing views from yours would show up on the board or not.

Personally... I dunno if it's entirely a personal choice. I don't think it'd be the same for each person... if it's entirely conscious or just something that you find yourself in. But I don't believe that people are born homesexuals. it's kind of tricky because some animals display homosexual habits and so scientifically one would suppose that there was at some time a genetic advantage to be homosexual and so people could be born with it(which still doesn't make sense considering reproduction is the essence of evolution and survival). Anyway, for me the most logical and faith-abiding answer is that it's a personal choice.

I don't believe that anybody can say that people are or are not born gay. We don't know if there is a physiological difference between hetero- and homosexual people (such as differing chemical balances in the brain, different makers on the X chromosone passed on at conception, changing hormone levels in the womb, ect.) or if the root is only environmental. Personally I'd think it would be a combination of the two, but I really have no idea. There have been quite a few studies comparing the physiology and genetic sexual history of homosexual and heterosexual individuals. Like most research there are polarised results, but the marjority of studies have found some difference in the genetic makeup of homo- and heterosexual people. There is no conclusive evidence at this time to say that sexuality is determined during conception, pregnancy, or early childhood, or if it is caused by environmental factors later in life.

There is some evidence for both hypothesise, but to date there is no evidence at all that conclusively states if homosexuality is a personal choice or genetic feature. A bit of info is available here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_and_sexual_orientation) on wikipedia, which of course is not always the most reliable source of info, but it does list many of the studies previously performed and is written in a way that's easy to read (not that much science jargon).

If you're not homosexual you definitely can't make that huge judgement when it's not based on any evidence at all. How in the world would you have a clue if people are born gay or not when all of the scientific studies cannot reach a conclusion? But if somebody says they were born homosexual, then who are we to say they're wrong. I have a friend who has told me he was born gay, and I definitely believe that is his truth. He is the only person who can say for sure what his experience has been, and if somebody feels they were born homosexual then there is no evidence that would prove or disprove their belief. And unless your beliefs are driven solely by the bible, which is not a scientific reasearch paper or even fact in the opinion of many, or your own personal experience of homosexuality (and even then everybody's different), there is no basis for a belief that homosexuality is or is not a personal choice.

Sk8r Girl.

When in doubt, don't. Old adage. If you're not feeling comfortable with it, it's against your better judgement.
Since I'm hetero I know I am born that way. Don't go gay because it's fashionable. That sure is a wrong choice.
Personally I think it is a choice, although others may say it's not due to various factors. In the final analysis we all can say "NO" if it's an unhealthy choice/temptation. That goes for food and alcohol addictions too.



Through a recent failed Gay relationship, I have come out to several close friends and my Mother, I am releaved that I have done this but sometimes feel that I am making the wrong lifestyle choice.... it is as if society is frowning upon me because of my sexual orientation......
Do you think people are born gay or is this a lifestyle choice???

T-rouble

i think the hardest thing about a male gay marriage is that neither of them can get pregnant.:)

If you believe that the bible describes homosexuality as an "abomination", then you know that God disapproves of the practice. Not the person. Personally, Im no saint, so I cannot judge anyone. Gay people are people and so should be respected as such, no matter what they do in private.

For me personally I'm hetro but there was this girl Maria. And while I have a very healthy fascination with men I fell hard and fast for her as a person and that spread to a physical attraction as well. Can't say though that every extended to another woman.

So for me personally I think it can be a little of both. Choice and biology. However I don't think it can really be wrong as it is more a social condemnation than anything else. As social perceptions of right and wrong are constantly evolving.

I don't believe that anybody can say that people are or are not born gay. We don't know if there is a physiological difference between hetero- and homosexual people (such as differing chemical balances in the brain, different makers on the X chromosone passed on at conception, changing hormone levels in the womb, ect.) If you're not homosexual you definitely can't make that huge judgement when it's not based on any evidence at all. How in the world would you have a clue if people are born gay or not when all of the scientific studies cannot reach a conclusion? But if somebody says they were born homosexual, then who are we to say they're wrong. There is no basis for a belief that homosexuality is or is not a personal choice. Sk8r Girl.

This is purely atheistic arrogance versus personal choice and belief. You have no more reason to denounce a persons theocratic beliefs in favor of imperfect feeble human reasoning any more than gay people have to label heteros as 'homophobic' just because they have the right to chose the straight lifestyle. Live and let live. There is room for us ALL on this planet to COexist. If you are homosexual and dont feel that you are wrong, then you have nothing to defend nor any motivation to denegrate those who choose, or were 'born' otherwise.

I don't beleive people are born gay.
I beleive it is millions of little things in thier lives, upbringing and friendships that they become that way.

For example: (I'm being general here)
Most gay men have father issues. That's just a fact.

If you had a gay man with father issues, but then rewound his life and gave him a great father, he probably wouldn't grow up gay.

I know that's a very stereotypical example but it fits to most homosexual men. There are many other examples though of physical, psychological abuse and even many other factors that make people this way I think.

So my belief is, it is something you become from your individual experiences and upbringing.

I agree it is environmental, but it modifies the way the brain works, and is probably irreversible. I doubt the religious nuts who "turn straight" lose their attraction to the same sex, they just "defeat the sin" or whatever bullshit their pastor tells them. In fact, they probably don't even become attracted to the opposite sex, so to me it's just stupid. I wish more people were gay, we need less reproduction. Earth is overpopulated, and the public is too irresponsible to do anything about it, instead they'd rather congratulate people for making more humans. Annoying. Although, CNN now has this thing called Planet in Peril, which is all about overpopulation and dwindling resources. Finally a step in the right direction.

I personally believe that there are no right or wrongs about sexuality or being gay.
I believe it isn't just a matter of choice, its just the genetic make up of what makes you a person.
Gay people face a lot of discrimination that is very relevant to the issue of homelessness. I have known quite a few homeless people who were rejected by their families, thrown out of the home and onto the streets. The prejudice unfortunately doesn't stop there, with gay people facing hostility in the the 'hostel' system and on the streets.
I've known quite a few people who have struggled with their sexuality due to the pressures of feeling they have to adapt or conform to so-called normality. The alleged stigma of being gay has to be removed from society much like racism, sexism and intolerance.

Being gay isn't a big deal its just the way it is...

I don't beleive people are born gay.
I beleive it is millions of little things in thier lives, upbringing and friendships that they become that way.

For example: (I'm being general here)
Most gay men have father issues. That's just a fact.

If you had a gay man with father issues, but then rewound his life and gave him a great father, he probably wouldn't grow up gay.

I know that's a very stereotypical example but it fits to most homosexual men. There are many other examples though of physical, psychological abuse and even many other factors that make people this way I think.

So my belief is, it is something you become from your individual experiences and upbringing.


I agree with this 100%

............

Not a choice no more than being lesbian. But heres a question- why is everyone so down on "being gay" but you never hear a single thing said about being lesbian? Oh, because its ok, girls are just girls but MEN, those big, macho unfeeling men are supposed to be MEN and being gay or effeminate is to assume a second class role in life??

Written by a -TRANSGENDER.

My identity is lesbian. I was homeless twice in my life and I may as well be right now because I don't have a single friend. The worst day of the year is upon us.

Christmas.