Dillema

Okay, well, if you've read the thread 'just wondering if someone has an opinion' you would know a bit of the bacground of this, but I thought I'd start a new thread, coz i really need to know what someone thinks about this.

the guy I like used to be a real sweetheart. he was nice to everyone, pretty quiet and encouraged everyone. lately, hes been really depressed because the girl HE likes doesn't like him. He's started hanging out with her and her friends, and now hes acting like a real loser. hes even said stuff about me behind my back and stuff, and that hurts.

now, its almost like, i dont know, who i fell for over a year ago isnt who i like now. now i like a total loser, just like every other guy ive liked before. i thought he was different, but obviously not. he means a lot to me, and i hate to see him doing this to himself.

let me know what you think, because im going through a really tough time right now. please tell me what you think i should do, or what your experiences have been or something...i'm lost and in desperate need of help!

Just be yourself and never lie to yourself, no matter how painful you find the truth.

And if he's pissed you off by talking behind your back, tell him so, nicely and, if necessary, angrily.

How he responds to that, may tell you a lot about where you stand.

Regards,
Konstantin

I suggest just letting it go. If he isn't the same person you liked before, then reevaluate your feelings for him.

Don't worry about what he is doing with a new girl and all that. Let him make his own choices and mistakes. Worry about yourself. Get out and have fun.

If you see him or talk to him, just be polite. Don't get yourself emotionally invested in him, if it is just going to make you feel bad.

ive had a lot of things happen lately, including one major thing which ill share with you in a mintue. first of all, i must say, i went through a time where i thought this guy was a total jerk and didnt care about me one bit, but now i realise that i was wrong, and he hasnt chagned as much as i thought he had. maybe it was wishful thinking.

okay, what i wanted to say (the big thing that happened), was that on the last day of term 3 at my skool, the whole grade was up on the oval playing soccer. i was off on the sidelines (as im not very good at soccer, and dint feel like playing). i was just kicking a ball around with one of the guys who wasnt participating, and then the teacher asked us for the ball. i said 'yer, sure'. it was the skools ball, afterall, and the guys had mine. i told the teacher that, and he called out to the guy i like, who had the ball. after eventually getting his attention, he kicked it to me and appologized, and i was like 'no no, dont worry about it'. all of a sudden i heard the rest of the guys start talking louder than before, and then i hear one of the i likes friends scream out (literally: scream, holler, yell, or whatever) over the WHOLE oval (which held my WHOLE grade) and he yelled this: "hey, if you give ... the ball, he'll take his shirt off for you!" now, this had happened once before, in front of a few people, and neither of us heard it, except for a friend, who told me later. i was absolutely HORRIFIED. and that was wen only one or two people heard it! over the whole oval! oh my goodness...i coulda just run away and cried, but no way would i give them the satisfaction. but the worst thing was the look on the face of the guy i like. he was absolutely mortified. he looked the tiniest bit embarassed, but his friends told me that he mainly felt sorry for me, becoz he couldnt belelive they'd said it.

i was talking to my friend yesterday, and it turns out that he 'nick-named' his crush after 'elmo', which was a joke he and i had shared (long story). my friend went back and told him that, reminded him of the joke we had shared, and he asked 'did she know that i liked 'this girl' back then?' and my friend was truthful, and said no. then he asked, 'does she know now?' and my friend said yes. then he replied 'ouch.' from what my friend tells me, who is even closer friends with him than me and this friend of mine...and anyway, yer, this friend tells me that he really DOES have a soft spot for me, and really does feel sorry for me. he really hates the fact that i get teased.

okay, so thats no real big deal, but i think its sweet.

hi, i know your problem might seem pretty major right now, but lets try and remember that this forum is primarily for homeless people and those who care about making a difference, although i have no problems with you posting this kind of thing, lets keep in mind that, to many people, this problem will seem rather trivial. hope everything works out for you.

At core, her concerns are about relationships, trust, fear of betrayal, lonliness.
Myself I wouldn't call them trivial, many adults struggle with them at one time or another.

Warm Regards,
Konstantin

i agree with you, however my point is that it's totally normal to go through this type of thing when someone is 14, and its not the worst thing in the world, but just another part of the learning experience that life is. At 14, i would've been over the moon if the life experience that taught me about relationships, trust, betrayal and lonliness, was a schoolyard crush. as i mentioned, i dont have a problem with what any body chooses to post here, but i am entitled voice my opinion on what is posted.

Hi Emm,

It's good to see you active on the forums and joining in the discussions.

Re your post above #5 to ' beccy d ' she is well in order to post on this thread as she has been doing for a long while. As you correctly stated these forums are primarily for homeless people and those with an associated interest in homelessness.
However, this particular thread (as copied below) which we are on welcomes any topic of discussion.

General Chat.
Talk about anything (not just homelessness).
Sub-Forums: News, Current Affairs & Politics, Hobbies, Interests & Sports, Love & Relationships.

tom - thanks for your reply, and private message, i do totally agree, and recognise this thread is for any topic. if you'd like the check out the post i made to beccy in her other thread, you'll see i was more than happy to add a postive comment of my own. Anyway, lets not get too off topic here, and focus on the issue beccy had brought to everyones attention. To beccy,- keep your chin up, its obvious by your last post that this guy does care about your feelings and thats a big postive! be it in a relationship or just a friendship. Try to ignore any people that try to embarass you and if you don't let it get to you, they won't bother to try again! Just keep being friends with this guy, and show him all your wonderful qualities!

thanks, guys, for all those comments. i havnt been able to get to my computer lately to see what you have all written, but I'm glad it has all worked out. i do have a strong interest in homelessness and other relating issues, but most of all, i found this an encouraging enviroment to ask questions about some of the stuff thats been on my mind. i know this isnt the end of the world, and 9i know that, in the end, God has a plan for my life. i know this is 'trivial' as you put it, and i certainly don't doubt that whatsoever, but i suppose, at this point in my life, this has been quite difficult for me, and i have been unable to find support in the family and friends i have always relied on. apart from that, i know that this guy is highly unlikely to find this forum, and that gives me an opportunity to voice what's really on my heart.

now, i did want to say something more on this being trivial...while i fully acknowledge that we are well over that, but i just wanted to say something while we were on that. while im only 14 (my birthday was just on the past saturday!), i have witnessed many a thing in my life. and it has been tough. this is certainly not the toughest thing ive experienced, but i suppose each thing is a learning curve that is teaching me more about myself and how i need to deal with certain things. im beginning to learn that i worry way too much about the little things and life, and that i need to focus on the bigger picture sometimes. im starting to take life as it comes, enjoying each and every moment for what its worth, and enjoying the people i have around me while they're here. my experiences in the past have taught me different things. my dad, when i was only about 7, was diagnosed with melanoma, which is the most deadly form of skin cancer. that was scary. even though i was young, it gave me this understanding that my parents aren't always going to be there, or other people im close to for that matter. i began to enjoy each day and make sure i lived everyday to its fullest. if we don't know what tomorrow brings, why risk it? so now i take that extra time to give a hug, a smile or a kind comment, because i want to leave a legacy, if i don't get to see tomorrow.

i think this is just another experience that is preparing me for life. while it may seem trivial, it's preparing me for something bigger in the future, and teaching me to get my priorities straight. thanks for all your comments, and keep posting. your criticism and encouragement are both welcomed. it's often nice to sit down after a ay at school or on a boring day in the school holidays and read your comments. they're always thought provoking, and i find that fantastic.

you may wonder why i havn't actually written anything about this guy. well, we're on holidays, and he hasn't been on msn at all...so that ruins that. haha. anyway, enjoy your day and keep posting!

You know what beccy, part of being young and growing up is worrying too much about stuff that for you is a very important aspect of your life!!! ;) Keep doing what you do, enjoy your time as a teen you'll go through many more things yet and none of it is trivial. Its all experience and helps you become who you are and thats what makes growing up and experienceing things sometimes really really hard and at times really really easy. So I guess what I am trying to say is, go with what you feel is right, don't grow too fast and ENJOY YOURSELF!!! :p ;) :) :p ;)

yes...i agree! i really dont wanna grow up too fast, and a lot of my friends are saying that too. ive kinda realised now, that while everyone has worth, this guy just isn't worth liking right now. he's lost, and he isn't at the level of having faith in God like i am. not that im saying im all 'holy' or something, but i just don't think he's at that point of appreciating me for who i am, and i don't need to be lusting after some guy that acts like he does. ill explain something that happened this week.

ive been talking to my friends a lot, and they've been giving me a lot of advice, but one guy i talk to on msn, who lives on the otherside of the country to me, has been really helpful to me lately. we're really good friends, and he's been really supportive. on thursday afternoon, he asked for this guys email address, and so eventually, i gave it to him. the guy i like told this friend that ive only ever said, like, 2 words to him, and the he THOUGHT i liked him. wqell, its a long story, but basicly, i don't have a choice to talk to him. if i want to get teased every day, all the time for a week, then i can talk to him. i don't want that, and neither does he. so on friday, i made sure i said more than 2 words. (haha, im so proud of myself) and it was working out well enough. then in sose, we had to paint this huge box thing, and he came over and sat next to me, and started complaining about how there wasn't enuff black paint in the pallet. so i turned to him and simply asked "would u like me to put more black paint in the pallet". i didn't think the question was that hard, but clearly it was, becoz he just ignored me. it was kinda funny actually, but anyway...then i asked him again: no response. so i asked a third time, and he turned in the opposite direction and started talking to another girl. i was like "oh, okay, thanks for your imput, that was really helpful..." so yeah, it was kinda funny, coz he probably just didn't notice, but i guess it kinda bothered me. he was too busy staring at the girl he likes to have noticed me saying something. i coulda told him he was about to get eaten by a giant drop bear, and he would have taken know notice. maybe even that one of the guys was about to eat a worm. actually, sorry, that would be beleivable (hehe), but still. it was annoying.

i always thought u couldnt force yourself to stop liking someone, but i think im gonna try. im just sick of all this and want to move on. if he notices me then, it'll be his loss, not mine.

okay. ive definately made the decision. i tried even just being a normal person to him today, and he just treated me like crud! he was an absolute pain in the rear, and treated me like i wasn't even a human being! maybe one day he'll change...but in the meantime, im not waiting around, pining for him, like all the other girls! it's just not worth it! anyway, i have a lot of work to do, so i better go. i'll update this again soon, so keep posting, and tell me your thoughts! it's always nice to read your comments!

okay. Ive definitely made the decision. i tried even just being a normal person to him today, and he just treated me like crud! he was an absolute pain in the rear, and treated me like i wasn't even a human being! maybe one day he'll change...but in the meantime, I'm not waiting around, pining for him, like all the other girls! it's just not worth it! anyway, i have a lot of work to do, so i better go. I'll update this again soon, so keep posting, and tell me your thoughts! it's always nice to read your comments!

hey breccy d. its zipcode again i didn't get all what i needed to say on the last one and then i pushed the wrong button and i couldn't get back to my Letta so i started different one so i guess this is chapter2yeah after i went threw the windshield i kept going from the force I'm not the best of spellers but i can type guess i no just enough to get by kind of like when the ball starts rolling don't stop it saying it's like my typing once i get going I'm going or when my fingers and my brain are in same grove I'm' pretty depressed depression is kicking in it sucks!my family don't com up to see me the only family that i have is on this computer it seams to be that way well you don't need hear 'bout my depression it sounds like you have enough of your own hope to here from you.now to go back and correct my mistakes.bye hang tough the old"saying "you can do it" you sound like a pretty nice person its hard enough going to school and studying for Thai much I've taken a few college courses soviologysnf i was going to be a school teacher when i grew up but i never did i still ain't grown up and I'm 43i went to college in Wisconsin for 2yrs then i went to college in the state of Minnesota for 2yrs. for my engineering degree well the first one was i had 3bad accidents in my life-the firsts one happened back in the early 80's when i did college and it was that summer i use to race motor cycles i had a wreck on my birth day this yr would be my 26 yrs ago my second was 5yrs ago and now this one this one messed me up pretty good now the people in the hou want to go to a some doing a county fair thing and they are saying that every body has to go but i'm not i don't want to i'm not in the mood for that shitt! an one of the other resiendt is pissed off cause im'm nnot going i don't care i so thats that so you'sl have a good day bye zipcodemay be if im up tha way we'll run into eacj otheri useto build watertwers but i can't pass their phyical my head aint quite right my balance is all and my viritgo so they don' twant me falling offf the damn thing it suck s thata i can' t pass it makes life alot tougherim' use to haveing money around useto make good money plus i liked itbeing 2-300feet above the gound there wouldn't be asny body around i like working by my seldf 'cause if there would be a me sstake counldn't blame it on anybody but myselfi wouldd like to have an companoinphop you can understand itha i could't beleive it i was just flippp'in trew the post s and i run arossed the one that i responded to earlyer and i seen som type ooooooooo's and fixed themm thistime ?????????yeah riteha!who am i kiding