19 and homeless

Hi Im Melinda, Im nineteen and homeless... I ran away when I was 12 and have been homeless every since. Now I cant really get a place because of my substance abuse and mental health disorders. I just got out of jail 3 months ago and was staying with my dad but then he kicked me out. I dont mind the streets because Im used to it by now... but I was looking for someone who is in a similiar situation...

Hi Melinda,

Hope you're well, a very warm welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear of your situation, sounds like you've had a pretty hard time over the years. These forums can be a great support and source of info, please feel free to tell us more of your story and ask for help if you need assistance with anything.

I understand how hard it can be to find somewhere to stay when you have to have almost no issues to be accomodated at a shelter. It's ridiculous because if you've lived on the streets for any extended period you'll almost certainly be struggling with mental health and drug and alcohol issues, but this makes it so hard to get/keep accomodation, which just sends you round and round the same circle of poverty. If you don't mind me asking and are comfortable in posting it, which substances are you currently using/stuggling with? I went to detox three times before I was 19, to get off different substances, mostly paint and pot a bit of morph and speed, and addiction is still a real battle for me, but I've got more control now than I've had since I started using.

I know that it can be very hard to cope with mental health issues without using substances. I say to people, "if you lived in my head you'd take drugs too!" I've battled chronic anxiety and depression since my early teens, which reached new hights when I was on the streets, and I then developed PTSD from my experiences at home and on the streets. I've been suicidal and self harming for years, but thankfully haven't experienced that for about 12mnths now as I've got a good combination of prescribed meds and counselling, a job and somewhere to live.

But before 2007 I spent the last three years living on the streets and hopping around shelters, trying to get off the streets, trying to find somewhere that would cope with me being an addict and self harming (as you may do when you have depression), but I just kept going back to the streets as no shelter I tried was really willing to house somebody with those issues, and the streets was my home. When everybody else rejects you, and the streets are still there, that's what you go back to, what you know, where you feel comfortable. I know what you mean by saying "I don't mind the streets because Im used to it by now...", it's kinda sad, but when I finally found a shelter that was really willing to help me I didn't want to be there, I'd spent so long sleeping out (but doing my best to get off the streets) that was all I knew, the only place I had ever felt that I belonged, where my friends were, where the drugs were that got me through each day, it was a really scary thing to leave all of that. You tell yourself that you're not worth it and don't deserve anything more than homelessness and it's so easy to believe that when you're on the streets and have mental health issues. Sometimes remaining homeless is not a bad thing, I'm sure that if I had accepted one of the units (to live by myself) that I was offered I would have struggled with being so isolated as opposed to hanging with my mates on the steets. Again, if you don't mind me asking, what are you affected by in particular in regards to mental health? Do you have/want counselling or medication? What accomodation options have you tried, or are you comfortable sleeping out at present? I'd be very interested to know your story there.

I've never been to prison myself, only in the watch house, but I understand that the services available for those exiting jail leave alot to be desired. If you want I'd also be really interested to know what caused you to be locked up, only if you want to share that.

I haven't been on the streets for about a year and a half now, but it's so much a part of my identity that I remember it like it was yesterday, but there's plenty of people on here who are currently homeless. I'm in australia, but I'm sure I can relate to where you're at. Thanks very much for posting Melinda, please post and tell us more about you, hope you're going ok.

Sk8r girl.

Hello Melinda,

Welcome to the homeless forums .. I'm Tom and I'm on the streets of London.

HI thanks for the replies...
Well, I drink and smoke crack meth and do down sometimes...
I just got barred from the shelter because I was being drunk and stupid. I have to sleep outside and its really cold.
I've tried to get a place but with barely and source of income and spending most of my money and booze or drugs its really hard...
To answer your other questions, I have depression and schitzophrenia, I also self harm and am suicidal... I just tried to kill myself last night when I was drunk by cutting myself... and now a lot of people are pissed at me.
I was in jail for assualt and missing court...
I honestly dont know where to turn now, I've also been in detox about 5 times and another program like that about 30 times... but nothing seems to work for me.
Thanks again for the replies...

Hi Melinda,

Hope you're ok, I was a bit worried after reading your last post. In looking around today I saw some pictures of what it's like to be on the streets in Edmonton, looks pretty damn cold, I'm in sweltering Australia with Rose and Fudge. I'm sorry to hear you're barred from the shelter, I can empathise due to my experience in youth shelters, it's a pretty crap thing to have happened but there's no judgement here, unless anybody was in your situation I don't think they'd really understand what you're going through.

I know you said you didn't know what to do, that you've tried detox many times. I think you should give yourself a bit of credit, you've never given up trying to quit, have tried and tried again, maybe when you've been to detox sometimes things just weren't right for you to quit, or you weren't given the best opportunity to be able to do so, and I know that the time and situation has to be just right, you have to give yourself every chance to use your willpower, because we're addicts, we don't have control and that's why drugs can destroy our lives but others can take it or leave it. I think there's nothing wrong with using to keep yourself alive, to cope with everything, self medicating. If the negatives of using greatly outway the positives and you really feel ready to cut down or quit then go for it, but if the alternative to using is worse, then do what you have to do. It's just like self harming.

I found these service online, I guess you probably already know of some, but thought I'd post them here just in case, I really hope one of them can help you, good luck and take care of yourself, please post again soon and tell us how you are!!

This is a great link that gives you a resource directory style list of services in Edmonton: http://intraspec.ca/res_list_basic_needs.pdf

And these are some other services that could help:

AADAC - Youth Services
Address: Various locations, Edmonton AB. See website for details.
Phone: (780) 422-7383
24 Hour Crisis Counselling Line: 1-866-33AADAC
Web: http://www.aadac.com/services/services_youth_edmonton.asp
Assists Alberta youth to achieve and maintain a healthy life free from the abuse of alcohol, other drugs, and gambling. Programs are designed to increase the capacity of individuals, families, and communities to prevent drug abuse, reduce harm related to alcohol and other drugs, and encourage the resolution of personal problems.

Enhanced Services for Women (ESW)
10010-102A Avenue NW Edmonton, AB T5J 3G2
Ph: 780-415-0786 or 780-415-0776
Open: 8:00 am-5:00 pm, Monday to Friday
Program/Service Description:
Offers personalized assessment and counselling on an outreach basis, helps pregnant women access AADAC's network of services, and facilitates connections to other community resources to enhance support during and after treatment provides information, consultations and referrals to community professionals to better meet the needs of women with substance use concerns.
Referral Information:
ESW receives referrals from a variety of sources, including clients themselves. Call for an appointment.

Bissel Centre
Address: 10527 96 St. Edmonton, AB
Phone: (780) 423-2285
Email: egibson@bissellcentre.org
Web Site: http://www.bissellcentre.org
Offers services to individuals and families facing crises or needing longer term support to improve their lifestyles. Services focus on assisting people to achieve the greatest degree of self-reliance possible. They have lots of programs for adults including a drop in centre, food and clothing assistance, and employment assistance. They are also a partner in Inner City Youth Housing. They pprovide safe housing and designated services for inner-city/street-involved youth 12-18.

Boyle Street Community Services
Address: 10116 105 Ave, Edmonton, AB
Phone: (780) 424-4106
Offers a continuum of services to meet individual and community needs of people in the inner city. Offers a drop-in centre, family support programs, housing registry, mental health outreach and youth outreach.

Hope Mission Youth Shelter
Edmonton, AB
Phone: (780) 717-7649
Open: 9:15pm-8:15am.
Email: youthshelter@hopemission.com
Web Site: http://www.hopemission.com/
Provides emergency shelter for male and female youth under the age of 21.
Provides a warm place to sleep, snacks, breakfast, and bagged lunch.
Outreach staff work one-on-one with young people who want further help finding a job, looking for permanent housing, getting into a day program or school.

WEAC - Women's Emergency Accomodation Centre
Address: 9611 101A Ave. Edmonton, AB
Phone: (780) 423-5302
Email: ttellier@e4calberta.org
Web Site: http://www.e4calberta.org
This facility exists to meet women’s and transgendered people’s immediate needs for short-term housing, though there is no time limit on how long they may stay. Free food, shelter, clothing and support are provided for women 18 years of age and older who have little or no income. Intakes do not necessarily have to be free from drugs or alcohol. Nurses and counsellors visit the site regularly to offer their services.

YMCA - Downtown Location
Address: 10030 102A Ave. Edmonton, Alberta
Phone: (780) 421-YMCA (9622)
Web Site: http://www.edmonton.ymca.ca
The downtown location can serve as a shelter for individuals assessed as being in an emergency situation and needing help.

I have a broken heart reading the news, the forums and blogs; how little has been done to prevent more stories like this...it seems that the problem is getting worst every month...In the winter, when I travel I bring many used warm clothes and shoes to give to homeless in the streets.

The government say : 50% are on the streets because they lost their job and homes - 45% suffer from mental illness - 50% have substance abuse problems - 67% served three or more years in the military - 33% were stationed in a war zone - 25% have used VA Homeless Services - 89% received an honorable discharge

What the government is going to do with the homeless with the US in a recession? The situation was already bad before…and nothing has been done to solve the situation! Look at the streets in Las Vegas... NY... Financial institutions are not going to help, be sure. People are scared trying to rescue their homes from sharks in the real estate market and from foreclosures, bankrupcies.

In the country I am living now you do not see many homeless , no vets on the streets, there are many soup kitchens, hospitals, pshychologists, job offers after a training program, warm beds to sleep at night, friendly treatment. In US there are so many abandoned on the streets, starving, dying every winter, what a shame!!!

Do something before is too late, the veterans gave their blood for the country and now they face a life in hell!!! Look the middle class having their houses foreclosured by huge banks, people being bankrupt every day, including the ones in the military, kids in bad, unreliable public schools being bullied and attacked,

I left US, then Panama, moving to South America, great landscapes, great food, friendly people, nice weather, good cost of living, due to a stable economy and construction boom in many statesm the Middle East people, the Americans are investing heavily like Sam Zell the biggest US investor.

My American dream is gone. Wake up, America!! Before is too late.

All the blessings, Perez.

Hi Perez,

It does make you wonder, why a country like the USA, which is supposedly so much "richer" than South America, provides such little assistance to its citizens in need. I think that Australia leans that way also, but in my opinion has a better financial support system (not that centrelink doesn't leave a lot to be desired). I believe that the big businesses and financial services have a social responsibility to "give back" to the community, not increase the gap between rich and poor. I think something that has attracted people to the US in the past is the quality of life there, many people have immigrated from other countries for a better life in the USA, but I don't believe that's the case anymore. I think that you're right Perez, the American dream has been shattered, in my view by the hands of capitalism and greed. South America sounds great though, maybe I'll go visit sometime. Thanks for your post Perez.

Sk8r girl.

PS Metallica*Melinda (and everybody else) please feel free to still post on this thread, even though we've diverted from the topic a little.

hi melinda...i hope that you are ok....sweetie why did you have to go and make your situation worse by cutting yourself...jeez no wonder those around you are upset...i know it's not about them...but don't blame them for their reaction...it means they care....whether they show anger or tears....and i wish that you would't smoke crack that friggin shit is so toxic to your brain and body..take speed or alcohol if you have to but please stay away from that shit ..you must realise that your fucked up govt manufactures this stuff to kill off people like you because you do not comply with their fucked up system...your in the to hard basket...so they feed you crack...don't let them do this to you....fight the bastards...become a warrior.....don't give into them they are forcing you to destroy yourself.....i know you have strength and a will to live...how else could you survive those winters out in the cold...i posted a poem a while ago in the thread 'another suicide in my town' i hope you read it....
hi perez
i luv south american culture..which country it sounds well balanced
i agree with you that the US govt is crippling the country and the people...and the same is happening here...but hopefully both of our countries evil rule has come to an end ...we finally got rid of a greedy howard and his Liberal Govt and now have a new prime minister and a labour govt...and bush's reign has come to an end ...lets hope both these changes in our great countries will put an end to the greedy corporate world that is striving for a 'third world order'.....to eliminate all that are dependant on the system..and to form two classes ...the rich and those that work to make them rich...keeping them at slave labour wages ...never enough to pay the bills let alone get ahead....they will always be indebted to the rich and working their asses off so they can get even richer....
black and middle eastern races do not even come into the equation they are to be eliminated at all costs.....they have been working on that one for centuries......

Hi Melinda. I hope you're still alright. I'm Livvy and I'm 19.
You're a strong, independant young woman. You've made it so far - don't give up now!
I know that its hard. I was on the streets for nearly two years and I know that it can feel hopeless sometimes. But I made it off and so can you.
Don't give up hope, and believe that people care about you. We do!
~Livvy