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My name is Bob, or known as ToothlessBob because i am missing 3 of teeth. I am 37 years old and i currently live in a small shack outside a local town. I live in the woods by myself now. I am currently working 3 jobs to support myself however i keep getting the bitter end. I had a dog named Alfred but a week and a half ago it passed away of old age. This was a turning point in my life because this dog was everything to me, and now that he is gone i don't know what to do. I am currently in the town library writing to you for help. I stumbled upon this website when looking for help. I have no family to my knowledge. I became homeless when i was 16. I taught myself how to live off of nothing and its has goten me this far but i dont know how much farther it can take me. I've never been a greedy man or a selfish man. I have been saving all my money in a box to one day treat myself to something, hopefully this will happen before i pass. I try not to eat to much to save money. I come to you for help, what should i do, there is nothing for me to live for now that Alfred is gone. What should I do?

Hi ToothlessBob,

Welcome to the forums, hope you're well. I'm very sorry to hear of your situation and the passing of your friend. It sounds like you're really greiving for and missing Alfred. I have a dog myself, and despite having to get up at 6 every day and walk it I couldn't live without one, I reckon they're definitely better company than people. You must have had Alfred for a long time, what was he like? I had a fox terrier and when she passed I got a crazy Australian cattle dog X kelpie, called Ally, which was a great comfort to me when I was missing my foxie. I imagine it could get pretty lonely by yourself out in the woods. I'm glad you've posted on here, it must have been tough with no family to support you over the last few weeks. Do you have any friends or work colleagues you could spend some time with? Have you considered, not replacing your friend, but getting another dog to help you through this hard time?

It sounds like you've been through alot over the years, becoming homeless when you're still a teenager, with no family, that's a pretty hard challenge to face so young. What do you do for work? You mentioned that you have three jobs and save your money by not eating and living off nothing, if you feel like it I'd be really interested to know what you're saving for, must be something pretty special.

I understand how a dog can become so much a part of your life that it's like losing a very close friend or child when they pass, especially if you've experienced homelessness, and so on some level have been rejected by the humans of society. A dog doesn't care what you look like or how you act, they judge you on how you treat them.

I think a good judge of character is how somebody cares for their pets, obviously you've got alot of love Bob. I hope that you hang in there, it must be horrible to have lost Alfred but it seems that you could still offer so much to the world. You must be an incredible and very determined person to work so hard to build a life from where you've been as a teenager. This website isn't really aimed to tell you what to do, more to hear what you have to say, but it can be an excellent support while you continue on your own journey. I hope you're ok and you post on here again and let us know how you're going.

Take care,
sk8r girl.

Welcome to the forums bob. :)

I don't really know what to say, sk8r girl has said it all already - except to say I hope you do hang in there. Losing a dog is really hard, I can imagine how you're feeling. When I lost my last dog, I thought I would never get another one, because it seemed as though there was no other dog in the world who could mean as much to me as he did. But another dog came along, and he is not the same at all as the one who died, but I love him just as much, and he looks at me with the same adoring look that the old one used to melt my heart with.

I agree with sk8r, you can't replace your old friend, but there'll be a dog out there somewhere who needs a loving person to care for it. Have you thought of going to dog's homes, where the dogs have no future if nobody wants them? Perhaps there's a dog or a puppy at one of those places who isn't cute enough to be taken by most people, a dog who is as lonely as you're feeling right now. You could make life right for a dog like that, and then both of you would have a friend in life.

Just a suggestion - I don't know whether it helps at all. http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/images/graphics_grabbag/smallheart.gif

hey, bob -

hope you're still out there. i can feel what you are saying about alfred. in march 2007 my cat foster died. he was my entire entire world! i have no family, no friends, my coworkers don't like me - i am extremely isolated into my own mind, but foster always helped me feel human...like i had the right to be alive because somebody loved me. i got a new cat - maybe you should get a new dog - that is something very special you can spend your savings on. i don't have that bond yet with this cat, but i am glad that i got her! she gives me a haven to go to.

i also wanted to tell you - something in my mind pulls me soooo hard to live your exact life!!! i have an apt, but i think in my mind all the time about being homeless. stack all my life decisions up and they are a heaping waste. i have a daughter that wants to go to college next year and i think i should go homeless so i can pay for her to have a good life. i wonder how you got your 'shack' and how you live?

so, write back, bob, and let us know what's happenin' -

kellybugg

Hey Bob, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my cat who I had from the age of 1 last year she lived to be 21 years old. She was always there for me when I was down and out. I agree with Rose there are a lot of animals who are sitting in cages who need a good home and you sound like a very caring person Bob.

I am sure you could bring joy to one of these lonely dogs.

I hope you get to treat yourself to something nice you sound like you deserve it.

Keep your head up and all the best.

Hi Bob,

I'm sorry about your Alfred. It's heart breaking I know, late last year I lost my dog Fella.
I agree with the others about getting a dog from the pound, you'll be giving the dog a better life and the dog will give you companionship. Best wishes. :)

Hi Bob
Very sorry to hear of your loss, i have my dog now and he has helped get through those tough times.
"there is nothing for me to live for now that Alfred is gone. What should I do?"
Id say the first thing and best thing is to cry, or to express your loss for Alfred.

And then perhaps, maybe i would suggest have a look at one of your hobbies perhaps, say if it is a sport, have a look at what sporting clubs might be nearby and perhaps go and watch a few games and ask about their sports club.

I was lucky and had a computer and turned to my computer and games, and music to get me through.
If you let me know what area your in, i will have a look around that area for you and suggest some things and places you can go to - ill put a map as well to show you the street it is on. - hope your doing okay.

hi bob i think if i was in your situation, i would try and find the same breed of dog that you have recently lost,ive seen a few dogs of the same breed as the one i had years ago and there are similarities but i would start with a puppie. the other thing i would do is learn to get on with a bunch of people.eg. the bowling club,the local scrabble club, a local church, a club that interests you thats not harmfull to your health.if you have burnt any bridges with the town your in ,then leave and find another one, get yourself connected with a mob called community housing.cheers peter

hey toothlessbob (i lov the name btw) i just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss. dogs are oftern so much better than people they are alwaz there for you no matter how rough things get.
. my advice to you is pretty much the same though. no you cant replace him emosionaly , no dog ever could. but getting another dog, a differnt type of dog, a new character, a new friend would be a good idea. the dog wouldnt be the same, so you shouldnt feel like your replacing him. you shoudnt feel gulity. making a new friend a new compaion its part of the jorney. it might be nice to experince a new friendship, he/she would have differnt habbits which you would grow to love im sure. anywaz, loss is a terrible thing, but you mustnt give up on yourself or anything, your only 37.!!!! as for not eating to save money????? money saving up...isnt as important as your health so just dont let yourself get sick over it ok!

take care-vent here whenever u like. the forums is a very friendly place and people here wil alwaz offer encouragement and advice where they can.

hi bob
just try and keep positive and try and make other friends because rember a real friend is someone who doesnt judge them the way they look or live
:)